Intro: Written English needs to improve – grammatically incorrect in places. In general, the argument is laid out but it bounces between the two sides too much. Look to rewrite this with more clarity, exploring the two sides without veering from one to the other. The opening sentence or two definitely needs to be extremely clear and punchy. It might be worth bringing in your secondary texts too. Word count: 250 words.
Section 1: Primary text, textual analysis. Mainly focusing on film language and connotations of the video. Include aspects that could be read as empowering. Perhaps use preferred/oppositional readings? (Hall). 500 words.
Section 2: Historical context, textual analysis of historical texts. Explore how the issue has developed over the last 15 years or so. Perhaps consider reversing the order to work chronologically which would show the ‘degradation’ of standards (or more positively, the liberalisation of the media). Perhaps consider bringing your section on genre into this bit too. 450 words.
Section 3: Wider institutional context – these representations are overwhelmingly created by men. E.g. Robin Thicke. Maybe bring in Dyer – stereotyping and power. Feminist theory. Blog articles bemoaning these representations. The proliferation of ‘rape culture’. Bring in the later section in your plan regarding women being pressured. 400 words.
Section 4: The other side of the wider context argument – that women are empowered by their sexuality. Angela McRobbie – feminist theorist. Look her up. Also includes secondary texts and textual analysis. Discussion of power and the definition of power in 2015. 400 words.
Section 5: The future of this debate – women in music industry/music video. Perhaps bring in some new/digital media… for example, are music videos even particularly relevant now? Perhaps look at post-feminism and the use of new technology to push the latest wave of feminism. 300 words.
Conclusion: Sum up the argument, return to your opening paragraph and resolve debate to some extent. 100 words.
Next steps… update/finish your plan based on this tutorial. You don’t need to stick to the above by any means but hopefully it has at least clarified your thinking and provided a potential structure that will be easy to follow.
This essay has great potential – the addition of feminist research and theory will be particularly useful and you’ll find lessons after Christmas help with this too.
NEXT STEPS:
-Improve introduction
-Restructure my essay plan
-Do my critical investigation in the holidays
